As the Anesthetic Wears Off…

I’ve recently had the opportunity to have a grapefruit of a fibroid removed from my uterus at KK Women’s and Children Hospital.  An open myomectomy was performed on a Monday I was discharged on Saturday, the same week.  The nurses at the Class B2 Ward in which I recuperated were absolutely fabulous.  It was an experience to remember.

INCISIONS, INCISIONS

Before I went in I wondered how low was low.  So here you go, a picture for reference.  The tiny bruises to the left and right of the navel are from the blood thinning jabs.

My navel used to say "Oooo". After surgery, it meditates "Ommm".

OUT IN THE OPEN

The entire length of the meatball  (that’s what one of the staff at the operating theater called it) was about 9cm.  I think it is so good to finally have a visual of this dish.  It sure is different from the CT scan.

Can you spot the cherry tomato I had for dinner the night before?

NO FART, NO FOOD

Never did I imagine the day would come when I had to fart in exchange for food and water.   Till then, I had to be given glucose by drip.  On the third day… gas rose again.  Phoooooot.

BITTER IRONY

Finally! I could drink but I didn’t want to.  Water at room temperature tasted bitter and regular amounts of it transformed me into a Merlion.  Even the smell of Milo and biscuits made me nauseous but barley and ginger water offered during meal times managed to remain in place.   

I thought some other clear liquid could entice me to hydrate myself, so I asked one of the nurses to help me buy a can of chrysanthemum drink from the vending machine (she still hasn’t allowed me to repay her for it).  I drank, I puked, I knew better.

Thing to bring : Ribena or any cordial you like, to add a dash of flavor to your sky juice.

AHHH… THE AROMA OF FOOD

I had no appetite at all and the first half an apple I ate, after 4 days on the drip, decided to propel itself out my mouth and into a plastic bag I had kept next to my face at all times while I was bedridden.  Almost every patient had a puke bag on standby.  The only difference was our trigger.

Visitors bearing nutritious (and junk) food were doing good for their loved ones but torturing me.  I had to keep fanning the smell away from my face, in times like these I think about myself and skip the pleasantries.  I also used the trusty face mask, which I got from a nurse, to keep the scents at bay.

Thing to bring : Axe Oil, Tiger Balm or whatever works for you as an anti puke nuke.

THE THROAT IS CONNECTED TO THE TUMMY

Clearing the throat was such a pain to my fresh cut meat.  I asked for phlegm meds.  And when the throat got dry, a sip of warm water held back those dreaded coughs.  Yup, whip out the ole face mask when the air is too cold for throat comfort. 

Thing to bring : Lozenges.

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND

Giddiness may strike you at any time, so take it slow and have a nurse around you when you leave your bed.  Better safe than splat!

A VISITOR’S REFLECTION

The staff at my ward was so nice that they allowed extended visiting hours, as if the 12-hour official timing wasn’t enough.  It was a torture to me.  I needed some quiet.  The last thing I wanted was to watch “Days of Our Lives” of the other patients.  So I had the curtains drawn most times to turn the drama into radio.  This isn’t ideal because it blocks the nurses’ view of you and other patients and it gets warm and stuffy sometimes.

Thing to bring : Earplugs.

BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIT SLEEPY

If, like me, you are bothered by fluorescent light in your eyes while you’re trying to sleep then be prepared.  Drawing the curtains didn’t always do the trick. 

Thing to bring : Sleep mask.

TO LOOP OR NOT TO LOOP?

I did pack my low cut panties and sanitary napkins.  But when I came to, and the nurses were going through my stuff, I was too drowsy to offer help.  So they used what they had – loop sanitary pads held up by a disposable string.  No panties.

Because I could not bathe myself for the first 4 days and had numerous diarrhea episodes, which I couldn’t tell apart from a fart, I was glad to use the loop pad.  Later, on my request, I upgraded to diapers because I kept soiling my sarong (part of the hospital garb). 

Using disposables and full hospital wear was ideal because in the state I was in, I didn’t want to worry about staining my panties and what not.  Once I could shower myself, I switched to my own under wonders and continued to use the loop pad.  I also brought the remaining pads home with me.  They don’t have a sticky side but trust me, you’re not going hiking or cycling so they’re not gonna fall out and embarrass you.

Thing to bring : Low cut panties.

WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON?

The pharmacists come up to the ward every time someone gets discharged.  So grab one and ask her about prescriptions you are already on and how they’ll get along with the new ones.  They might even tell you that swallowing pills at intervals are better.  Milk the pharmacist for drug information.  It’s good to learn a thing or two.  Oh and no, they won’t let me doggy bag the morphine.

Thing to bring : All labels of meds you’re on cos they need to know how many/often you take of each.

ONE FALSE MOVE

I made the mistake of downing a shot cough mixture that causes drowsiness, together with my other candy colored pills just hours before I was discharged.  It made me dizzy, vomit and I almost fainted in the arms of one of the nurses, who then recommended I stay another day.

I hadn’t taken said cough mixture throughout my stay but I had a raspy throat so when a nurse offered it to me, I thought, “Oh well, one for the road.”  I gladly vomited more clear liquid to exorcize the evil formula.  Soon I was representing myself in the presence of a doctor and defending my misadventure as merely the effects of a cursed pink solution. 

Thing to bring : A sound mind and an assertive (but still friendly) attitude.

GO HOME AND GROOM

Two of the first few things I did once I eased into my beloved bathroom were, pluck my armpit hair and shape my eyebrows.  Then I moisturized my face. 

I had noticed that I looked like crap when I looked into the mirror on the fifth day at the hospital.  Get back into your regular beauty regime so that you look and feel good, for yourself and for your partner.

WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO?

My partner said he was squeamish about what I had just gone through in hospital and I empathized.  I didn’t even dare look at or feel my tender parts (8cm above and below the stitches).   And I looked like I was in a whole lot of pain just moving.  Give your man time to understand the temporary you.  Communicate what he can or cannot do to/with you through words and actions.  Be nice, he is gonna be there for you just as you would for him.